I am havin' a really, really bad day! It is so bad that I drove like a crazy mad woman on a rampage out on the streets today. I usually detach myself from domestic issues. It is definitely not my cup of tea. I do not like to get mad especially not to the household help. Hay! But I can no longer ignore it anymore especially if the maid is chismosa!
Ewan. But ever since I was the target of a malicious rumor spread by a couple of officemates of mine a few years back about my husband now, my friend then and myself. I shied away from people simply because I could not handle gossip. I do not like to defend myself especially if I have done nothing wrong. I knew who I was and I knew what happened and I felt that I did not owe any explanation to the world. Hellers! Di kaya ako artista! Wahahahahaha! When the mouths started talking, romel and I kept to ourselves and a few close friends. I think I only trusted Ruth and Gail back then. Hirap na so many people were judging. The rumors were not only false but they were hurtful and malicious. I was recently enlightened and I know now that my friend back then was also a victim. He told me, just lately, his side of the story. But back then I thought he was the one who started the rumors. See, this is a perfect example of how rumors can ruin a friendship! I remember my motto after that was TRUST NO ONE because he was not only close to me but I considered him as one of my best friends and I told him some (if not all) of my secrets. But back then I thought he betrayed my trust because of the rumors that were spreading. It was painful because I thought there was betrayal but I guess I should also be thankful because that was the time when my hubby (my friend at that time) and I became close.
Ganyan ako ever since I was small. You will not see me defending my side to my parents simply because they should know deep inside that I will never do that. It got me into so much trouble before especially with the fights with my eldest sister. She would always start these fights not only with me but with my younger sisters as well. I fought back because as an older sister I felt I had to protect them and myself but I always get scolded at or reprimanded because I would not defend myself to my parents. They never heard my side. It would have been simpler if if I did that but I did not. Hehehe. Ewan.. feeling ko kasi if they really knew me at all, they would not have to ask me. So if they asked me, I would get mad. So they would get mad at me because I was mad. Hehehe. Tigas ulo din ako eh. Although, there were times when my dad took my side even if he did not say anything. He would just pat me on the head or he was just here and not say anything. He would not even ask me about what happened and just be there and that comforted me a lot. He was not judgemental and he always seemed to know when I am right or when I am the one at fault. I never (not once) received a spanking from him.
Anyways, that was the scenario when I was growing up. That was the reason why I always kept to myself. I would prefer to be on my own than deal with the issues. Of course, I always have my roommate and sister to help me process these issues but in general I always kept to myself and a few close friends and a few of my sisters. So now, I do not really tell anybody what my issues are when it comes to parenting especially not my issues as a wife. It's hard sometimes not to tell anybody what my problems are but I guess it also helps that I get to process it on my own and there are not too many people talking. Too many words are subject for misinterpretation and there are just too many ears and they always seem to multiply and the tongues never stop wagging. So when I am the target of a malicious tongue, I can no longer control my ire especially if it comes from a household help. Hellers! So yeah, I blew my top this morning!What was her intention anyways?
I am a firm believer that people can work problems out for themselves and they can build and rebuild relationships if they were given a chance by not having too many people around them yakking about it. Too many relationships (friendships, marriages, etc) are destroyed because of rumors. Too many great relationships should have been built but did not because they were pre-empted by negative feedback. Think about that. Words are supposed to build friendships and not ruin them. Words are supposed to encourage and not discourage people. Yun lang po. *bow*
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